Some late night poetry...enjoy!

Times have changed

I caught a glimpse when you thought I did not see you. I like that I don't remember you and me. I used to want to remember every detail now I like the fact I don't care to remember anything about you. I live a life of freedom that you no longer control, look how the times have changed.


Shattered

The rain pours down as I lay here, memories flooding my mind…your name is being screamed by the downpour, my soul aches for what once could have been…before the minutes turned to hours, the days moved on, the moment you left and I didn’t realize you would disappear forever, no goodbye, no closure just a broken life, one tragedy unfolded so quickly I couldn’t breathe then I realized a death took place yet a new life began, ironically your death changed my life forever, once a mourning heart turned into a joyous one not about your death but my life, you tried to destroy me yet I lived as you walked out ironic isn’t it?

A Warrior's Battle...

Two worlds battle for my soul! They both want my destiny. One road is good while the other road leads to death. The dark road keeps trying to entice me to take a journey just once, past reminders of a life I once had with the cruel master of disguise. He masks a world you think you want and then he places you in a hell you have to fight to escape. Those reminders of past pain fade as you feel this longing to capture what you once dreamed of...the players we conquered to prove a point ended up to be one night stands that you never seem to remember their names not even 15 years later when you barely remember what they looked like, or the sip that turned into a drunken night, a tiny piece of paper took you on a trip of your life with magical colors, fingers crossed it would be a good trip not the bad one you had last week, or maybe on one of those lonely nights you decided to stay in the cold blade became your escape - a drop of blood could ease a world of pain you hid for so many years out of shame and guilt. Wait I see the light shining through this dark dream of the past...I hold my breath, you grab my hand and a cool breeze of peace falls upon me as you pull me to safety. Another day conquered, surrendered to my maker...the one who wants to bless me, love me and give me the world. Thank you Jesus for never letting go!

Never Settle for Second Place

You wanted me to look at this world through your jagged eyes. You never understood or maybe you never cared to see how I felt. I have feelings, they mattered you know. I begged you to stop just once...think of me and what this was doing to me but you wouldn’t it was about you as always. Everything was about you, you never let me spread my wings to fly, you always wanted to hold me back, my soul almost died trying to get you to see the reality of your actions and words.

Out of jealousy you tried to take the love he gave me, it was never meant for you yet you would never seek him to find out what he had for you…you tried to live through me but he didn’t want you to live this way. He has plans for you, I must be myself and walk on the path set before me.

The Last Night

The handful of pills each marked with a failure in my life are ready to be chased by a bottle of depression an overwhelming sense of loneliness, rejection…the ending was planned. See the problem is I am not the author!

I stand at the edge, gasping for breathe about to jump then out of no where you took my hand and led me down. I remember that night like it was yesterday…all the pain, disappointment, anger, rage, fury, love, joy…all of it gone. God was merciful and stopped me before I wrote the end and made this story a tragedy instead he birthed new life from it. A legacy still in the making!

***Reading what God has put on my heart tonight makes me want to add a disclaimer - I am releasing what has been bottled up in me for years. See I used to be a writer till a tragedy in my teenage years caused me to stop writing. I let everything I went through be bottled up inside of me. I went through some life changing counceling with my pastor almost a year ago yet my heart has still longed for me to release the memories through my writing. I can't explain why God chose tonight, I mean it's almost 1 a.m. and I need to get to bed but I can't sleep I needed to pour my heart out. I do know that I have been holding back from writing and I'm not sure why...I am healed from my past and everything I have been through. One day these will be a part of a book I am writing to help others to know that God has never left you even when you feel all alone. In the darkness, he is there and he wants to bring you into the light and give you a new life. What was meant to destroy me will be used to bring glory to God's name and work. I will share my story with all who I encounter, one reader at a time!